Away We Go, Part One
by Batmunk
Summary: some stories aren't told in complete order.


It's as if the vehicle exploded from within on collision, sending burning hunks of metal flying in every direction possible at speeds so high that police find a melted door wrapped around a tree twenty five feet away. There are shards of glass strewn about in every shape and size, reflecting the periwinkle glow of a sunset sky as if the ground is sprinkled with stars. The Victims were both ejected from the vehicle. The EMT's find Simon first who's been knocked nearly unconscious and is in critical condition. Jeanette is found contorted nearly five yards away. Her limbs positioned at fatal angles it's obvious she's taken the much harder hit in the crash. As the EMT's rush to put her onto a stretcher, taking a blood sample for the transfusion she so urgently needs. Simon struggles to listen to what's going on, his trauma reducing most of the medical jargon to numbers and calculations. But these figures mean nothing to him but the passing of seconds…the fading of existence. As they load Jean into the ICU emergency transport, the sample reveals more than a blood type, her body giving up the secret she'd been hiding. Her heart stops moments after and EMT's rush to kick start it again as they speed off to the hospital.

We Rewind back to Just before the crash. To Simon and Jean driving back home together from the award ceremony. It's been a whirlwind since his return a quick intensely powerful tornado that picks up unsuspecting home's and drops them somewhere else. Her heart has been displaced and she's quietly contemplated where to go from here, finally deciding that she can no longer stay with him.

She begins the conversation, telling Simon how proud of him she is. And that she knew his genius would be recognized, and knew a day would come when he would be revered. He's far surpassed the goals he had set for himself. And deserves all the praise he's receiving. For her to bask in his glory and to continue on as if nothing had changed would be unfair to him. They both made sacrifices. But sacrifice at times meant one another. She recalls a moment before he set out on his mission and the choice he made. Simon can't help but feel she's being unfair. "there was never a choice, honey" an impassioned Simon retorts," And Sacrifice? In the grand scheme of things a year and a half of sacrifice in order the change the world doesn't seem so terrible. Can't you see? I came back for you."

Jeanette confesses that she'll always love him, but his absence has set in motion the irreversible reality that she cannot change. Simon's anxiety starts to build as he continues driving. She reveals her relationship with his older brother and that she is six months pregnant. Simon is aghast, the news rips through him harder and harsher than any pain he has ever experienced, the shock causing him to lose his train of thought and instantly takes his eyes off of the road. The car wavers to and fro and then smashes head on with a ten ton semi-truck. Sending them both rocketing through the windshield, two lives reduced to nameless weight and mass. The couple is suspended in motion for one perfect second, before dropping dangerously to the pavement. Rushed to the hospital, they are attended to by Dr. Clydell" Crashcup" Straight. Who manages to save the life of Simon, Jeanette however suffered a miscarriage upon impact, and doctors are working tirelessly to save her. Simon's consciousness wavering in and out as everything finally fades into sleep with the rhythmic tone of a steady EKG pulse.

Many Believe that before you die, or if you come close to dying, as the body flips between unconsciousness and cognizance, there is a profound experience. It can be described like oil and vinegar, or rather oil and vinegar and a multitude of other ingredients , standing perfectly well on their own, each able to hold up their structure despite coexisting in one container together, these ingredients are ideas, abstractions like dreams, schemas of the afterlife, memories from the best and worst days we lived, repetition that has ingrained itself on our perception, shapes, sequences, feelings, choices, jingles we learned in school to memorize something important. There are things we cannot remember consciously and there are things we spend a lifetime trying to forget, perhaps it's as if the container is suddenly stirred and shaken up, taking all of our individual reveries and forcing them together until what we believed only to make sense as separate, compartmentalized thoughts, now seem incredibly clear as a single fluid experience.

For Jeannette Miller-Seville, this moment occurs from a gurney where Dr. Straight and his team of specialists are doing everything they can to pull her from the grip of death. To her the doctors are faceless white apparitions moving around a room that has metamorphosed into a collage of landscapes, events and ruminations. She views the space around her with newborn eyes, she is walking across a bridge, high above the trees there are elaborate gazebos with pillars and columns hidden within them. She walks without a purpose. Breathing in air so pure she believes she must be the first person ever to have inhaled it.

Slowly, swirling like a plastic bag caught up in a gust of wind, a sphere of light approaches rings of color radiating and growing until the center is stretched so far it opens wide. Leaving a hole of nothingness, from the nothing a small balcony draws out like an ellipse, A Living gateway appearing there; a cloak extending forth a transparent figure from within that beckons her, guides her. She continues to move down the newfound path presented by the figure, knowing exactly where to go, despite never having been here before… she feels at ease…she's going home…

Then in a brilliant flash. Jeanette is at the beach and she has definitely been here. She's much younger, and she's walking to meet a boy she had only met a few times before. Her pulse quickens, anticipating the encounter as she moves towards a rickety dock, completely overdressed for the midday heat. She can hear the trapped drum of her heart amidst the crash and slush of the waves. It's as if she might reach out and touch all the possibilities, all the promise this moment holds.

He sees her first. From then on he'd constantly remind her that's how it happened, "I Watched you come over that little wooden dock and we may as well have walked down the aisle then and there" he'd say, Eventually she'd grow to question whether he'd changed his mind. But not now.

Now is pure magic for a girl and a young scientist finding out for the first time that not everything can be explained away with "A Little Logic". Finally she sees him he is lover personified. There are no awkward words exchanged. There are no words at all yet. But an embrace held long enough to convey the feelings of two people glad to see each other, happy to no longer be apart. In this case people who have been kept apart their entire lives and are now only realizing how much they missed each other "it's nice to see you again Simon" She says, The Boy opens his mouth to agree. She knows exactly what he's going to say, she's thought of this moment over and over again for the better half of her adult life.

But Rather than Words a warm glow begins to emit from Simon's mouth, as if he's breathing light around her, surrounding and comforting her. Now the waves have stopped where they rise, flattening out into a vastness that could go on forever, Familiar likenesses and places developing in the transparency of the liquid.

Through the afterglow enveloping her, Jean Watches as Simon closes his eyes and disappears; the landscape reworking itself into an intricate labyrinth massive doors opened in front of her she, like those before her will traverse this place. With certainty and contentment she looks ahead, Taking her first step into the unknown. "Away We Go"

"We don't know if she'll ever wake up"

Simon is released from the hospital two weeks later; A car is hired to bring him home as he's refused rides from absolutely everyone he knows. He does not want to see his friends or family, he doesn't want to talk to anyone. He needs time to reflect upon the possible loss of his wife and the events leading up to it. He watches out the window in the backseat. The day is calm and clear. The sky seems a brighter blue than usual, as if now it were a little brighter because it was home to the light of his life. The birds are singing. Simon thinks to himself that this is the exact type of day she would've enjoyed and the realization that she may be lost to him, never to come home punches him straight in the chest again. He thinks he may be sick and rolls down the window. He considers throwing himself from the moving vehicle, but he can't be moved to care about enough at this point to take action. This is a pain he can't medicate and a phenomenon he can't research his way out of. He's devastated.

Simon's thoughts turn to regret for moments in their life together where his obstinacy got in the way of letting him show his feelings for her. When she confessed on the drive, just before the crash, that she had found someone who not only put her first, but had given her the child she always wanted. He was furious. Not at her. Not even at his brother whom she took solace in. he was angry with himself for not being the man to give her those things. He had been stubborn, maybe even cruel in his departure from her when she'd only wanted to love and keep him safe. He thought he'd feel fulfilled Journeying into the deepest reaches of space, that he'd finally do something outstanding by discovering what no one else had been able to see. Instead , he realizes that none of the things he's accomplished matter as much to him as her.

Now, like some universal attempt at irony, she has left for the ether of the stars without him. And she might not be coming back.

On the long ride home, Simon thinks about the phrase on the palm tree shaped air freshener swaying to and fro from the Taxi's rearview mirror, "No Man is An Island" it brought him back to to a conversation with the department head. "Mr. Seville," he'd begin, his tiny eyebrows joining forces with the deep crinkle in his forehead, "we are not made to go through existence entirely on our own. By joining our lives with others, only then can we become strong continents" it would not occur to Simon now that Dr. Linkev had been cautioning him specifically. Simon had tried to remain an island his entire life. As a scientist, he chose to research ideas no one else believed in, thinking that he must be the only one who truly understood the universe at work. Looking back he's suddenly aware that he picked those topics because they were areas where he didn't have to rely on anyone else. He could remain in his own isolated brain without having to answer to other opinions or hypotheses. This character flaw eventually reared it's head in his personal life too Causing him to push people away without knowing it. He constantly kept jean at arm's length, not intentionally, but because it was the only way he had ever known.

Without warning a storm begins to roll in just as Simon arrives home. Carrying nothing but the clothes they were wearing before the crash. He refused to let the hospital dispose of them. Scientists, as we know them Have a a hard time throwing things away documenting all of their research so that nothing can be lost. The clothes, these bits of cloth left from the accident are possibly empirical evidence of the last time Simon's world would make sense.

As he hobbles toward the front porch of the modest home they shared. His legs relying on two custom-fitted steel extensions to do the work as they heal, he feels something is not right. A familiar figure is there sitting on the floor , his head tilted back against the wall of the house. At the sound of Simon's footsteps. The figure straightens looking up with red, swollen eyes. His brain is moving slower than usual, then he catches a glimpse of the man's face. His hair stands on end. As he realizes who the man is. Alvin…

His older brother watches the ground as Simon walks toward the porch, avoiding eye contact, seeming to work at avoiding any interaction altogether, Simon puts his key in the door, half of him wondering if he can get inside without any confrontation, the other half hoping his brother open fires, raining down a barrage of punishment for all Simon has taken from him. He receives neither, only one word: "Why," Alvin breathes ; the utterance less a question than a judgment

Simon can't find a single reply for a query that has so many answers: Because I shouldn't have gone with out her, Because I wanted Redemption, Because I wanted to come home. Because emotions were high and I lost control of the vehicle. Because the truck we collided with was so much bigger. Because your unborn child was too fragile and Jean's heart was too weak and because sometimes medicine might fail us… and I'm perpetually failing. Because you're a better man than I could hope to be.

He doesn't have to say anything as Alvin stands, Lack of sleep and emotional devastation creating the illusion he is far older than he is, and says "you had a million chances to play hero for her but you made your choice and hers too. You left that woman in the dark and came back like you could just turn the light on? If you loved her you would have stayed up there Simon, You would have let her go…" he then shakes his head, walking off the porch and into the downpour, leaving Simon to shout into the rain, "I'm sorry"

He repeats the phrase over and over, crumbling down into himself on the welcome mat, his keys still in the door.


End file.
